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Having good intel on what your date thinks about the things you say, the way you act and what you do on a date is the first step in transitioning dates into lasting relationships. 

The LDS Matchmaker gathered excellent gender intelligence when we asked men what they loved or hated about their dates and received brilliant first date tips when we questioned The LDS Matchmaker Dating Expert, Erin Schurtz.

According to our poll, here’s what MEN told us about their dates:

1. They love women who aren’t afraid to be decisive about how they’d like to spend time.  They hate when women say they don’t care about where they go but then act disappointed or refuse his suggestions. 

If there’s somewhere you feel comfortable going or a place that sounds good, decisively tell him what it is.  Chances are he’ll be excited about the opportunity to give you something you want.  

2. Men told us they love it when dates actively contribute to the conversation by offering a discussion that requires thought and provides insight into their personality and character. 

Skip talking about the weather or mutual friends. Dig deeper and be prepared to share something more interesting or vulnerable.  Ex: Your plan for the future, interesting hobbies, exciting moments in your life, etc.  Make an effort to highlight your personality and try to discover his.

3. Men reported they’re turned off when women assume the date invitation is an indication that they’re head over heels for you, especially if you’ve just met. 

Try to keep expectations about what his invitation means to a realistic level until you have the opportunity to observe his behavior and understand his intentions. 

4. Men told us they love women who display confidence and seem comfortable. They said these are usually the same women who have a plan for their lives and are working to achieve goals for their future. 

If you have a vision, feel free to share it and inquire about his ambitions. If you don’t have a clear plan of action for life, that may hurt your ability to attract ambitious, high quality men.


Put some thought into what the next steps are for your life are and take action towards achieving it. Ambition and goals are great topics to discuss on dates.  Put some thought into what the next steps are for your life and take action towards achieving them. Ambition and goals are great topics to discuss on dates. 

5. Men report that they love when women aren’t afraid to ask questions to get to know them.  Many men felt they often work harder than their dates at asking interesting questions to engage their partner. They feel disappointed if their interest and questions aren’t reciprocated.  

Engage your date’s attempts to get to know you. Suggest playing some fun and flirty get to know you games like “what would you bring to a desert island” or “would you rather... “. This lets your date get to know you and your personality in a lighthearted way.

According to The LDS Matchmaker’s Dating and Relationship expert, Erin Schurtz, here’s what you need to know before your next date:

1. The best way to make a great first date impression is to be warm, inviting and open to fun.  If casual conversation with new people isn’t your expertise, the best thing to do is practice. 

Practice small talk every time you’re at the bank or grocery store. Learn about the people around you by asking questions and good follow-up questions.  Practice changing topics when things start to lag a little, it’s an important dating skill.

2. Don’t offer to pay the check when it arrives. It sends a message to him that you don’t consider it a date or that you don’t think he’s able to pay. Both are emasculating and make it less likely he’ll want to see you again.    

3. Typically if women ask men for dates, it sets up the wrong perusal role. Instead, just be blatantly obvious that you’d like him to ask you out.

The perfect recipe to get a date invitation is by dishing a compliment, followed by a casual, “I’d-like-to-get-to-know-you-better,” followed by a “call-me-sometime.” For an added effect, give a wink and then immediately exit. If he’s interested, he’ll ask you out. If not, you can feel free to move on knowing you left the ball in his court. 

4. During your date, give appropriate and sincere compliments. It’s the best kind of flirting. Appropriate touching will also help your cause. When he says something amusing, laugh and gently touch his arm. That will help him realize you appreciate his efforts and enjoy his company. 

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